is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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