watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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