you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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