Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
