We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
two words: eviction party
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
