she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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