the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
