dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She bit a glass in half.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
