I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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