Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
