Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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