I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
