Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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