shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
