Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
