hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
