Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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