I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
