Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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