i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
