I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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