Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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