When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
