with your own penis?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
