So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
