I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
