why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
