Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
