I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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