He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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