you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
