whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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