Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
