So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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