You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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