Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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