But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
