Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
