Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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