The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
