Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
