Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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