dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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