he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
