Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
