I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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