We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I want to fling myself into the sun
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
