we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
