What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
