Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
