what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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