try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
