So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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